~long sigh~ A right, I just wanted to get a few things off my chest because I feel like it's the only way for my anxiety to drop right now. (Curse you Hyper-Anxiety! T-T) I feel that I may be loosing the love with the person I know I love, and I will always love. Life has always been such a hardship for me until the day I met them on Gaia... but still I feel like I'm loosing them considering we've been together for a few years now. I don't know why I feel this way, maybe it has something to do with the fact that none of my messages go through on top of that their life has been chaotic far more than mine.

Then there is the problem with my self-esteem right now. It's so damn low... I need a job but I don't know how long I will cry if I would be to be rejected now, I also don't know if I can hold the job for longer than a few days at most... I really hate this feeling and there is absolutely little to no way to make it go away. I really wanted a normal life... but at the looks of it I can't I tried, and I can't something just keeps slamming me into the cement of the thing called life. I was picked on through out my whole life, I finally have friends I can relate to but I don't know if I can keep them because of my problem. ~long sigh~ I just wish I was stable...